Dear Abba,

.

I've been here before; this place isn't foreign to me.
It's like hitting a recurring wall year after year.
The same doubts, fears, and uncertainties have arrested my soul and manifested in my body.
I've listened to your pastors and prophets, and I feel like they have forgotten their beginnings.
I am struggling to attend to the matters in my hands consistently, the things I know you have given me.
My heartaches are real, and the storm is stronger within.
Which book in the Bible should I enter to calm the seas inside of me?
Which song should I sing in this familiar land?
How do I build boundaries inside of this broken love that needs mending?
How do I keep moving forward without offending those who must be left behind?
How do I install windshield wipers in my eyes?
Who can I speak to that carry the thoughts of the wise in their hearts?
Where are my mentors?
Where are my guides?
You said nothing is missing, but I feel so empty inside.
Abba, will hope come alive?
Can it be resurrected in the face of my pain?
I need you to show up and forgive me if I am to blame.
Shine your light into my darkness and stabilize my inconsistencies.
Lead me, and I will follow; teach me, and I will learn by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Please release the healing, understanding, and knowledge that I yearn for!!!

-Love,
Dee


July 25, 2024
Back in NYC
2:59 AM
#reflective & hopeful