Dear Abba

Dear Abba,
I feel like I'm drowning. My emotions contaminate my thoughts. I can't trust my feelings, but I must acknowledge their validity. I feel sad, angry and disappointed. I feel like I keep tripping over the guidelines of life because I want to keep everyone happy. How can I murder the people-pleasing woman who lives in me? I know she wants to deliver me from myself. My pain-infused thoughts got me trapped in my yesterday. Reliving what I could've, should've, but didn't do. I know how to give grace to others, but giving it to myself doesn't seem like an option.
Abba, I know you said not at this time, but sometimes walking away seems so much easier than facing the sources of your pain. I feel stagnant and unsure. I need clarity for my mind and a hug for my soul. Forgive me for my inconsistencies. I am hoping that you will do a love transplant and fill me up on my empty days. No matter what, Abba, I won't let life steal my praise. Hallelujah, anyway. 

5/26/24- 9:22 PM Harlem, Bedroom Emotional