11/3/2024 3 Comments There Are Levels to This S.H.I.T. - Building up your Strength, Hope, Intentions & TenacityIn 2010, I walked into Aspire Prep in the Bronx, ready to serve as the Literacy Coach, and there she was—Chrysalix, the English teacher with a heart for her students. Each morning, I would pray, and Chrys would follow with a worship song, setting the tone for our day. I was only at Aspire Prep for a year, but those mornings left a lasting impact. Over the years, life took us in different directions, but fate brought us back together at a writing workshop I hosted in Harlem. Since then, we've been inseparable. We are no longer colleagues or friends. We are sis-stars. Over the years, we've evolved into visionary women, each leading purposefully—she as C.E.O. of Butterfly Beautiful, and I as C.E.O. of Dee's Passion-Filled Experience. Chrys has supported me in countless ways over the years. One of the most indelible marks she left on my journey was creating my first film, Behind The Mask, which we'll release soon. After a pause, we're both back in execution mode, committed to Getting Our S.H.I.T. Together. We're here to rise with Strength, Hope, Intentions, and Tenacity. Creating with Pain and Purpose One day, Chrysalix sent me a beat called Warrior Angels. The moment I heard it, I felt the presence of heaven around me. I listened to it over and over until a poem resurrected inside me. As I listened, I wrote this poem: Sometimes I get tired of carrying all this pain, Telling my story over and over while things remain the same. I suffer while everyone else seems to gain. Abba Father, have you forgotten my name? Cast your light on my heart and show me why I'm being slain. The beast inside me is alive, and she no longer wants to be tamed. The power of focus has become a mental strain. Inner desire sending electric shocks to my brain, Leaving me strapped with my pen, plunging in deep into my veins. Blood mixing with ink, spilling onto my page. A grave site for my emotions and my internal rage. Call the priests, rest in peace. Sweet relief, free the beast. This artist, deep Denice She won't cease. She won't cease. A Moment of Tension, A Lesson in Trust After I shared the poem with Chrys, she was inspired to create a song called Warrior and transformed my poem into a rap. When I first heard her rendition, I was angry. I felt like the piece was no longer mine. Creative boundaries came into play, but the pain point in my heart was more profound—I felt like I'd lost something personal. I had a conversation with Chrys, and she understood. She apologized and returned the song to the vault, promising not to release it. Chrys joined me for T.E.A. with Dee on November 1 (episode coming soon!), and we spoke about the echoes in the shadows and the light we carry within us to illuminate our paths and others. The next day, I spent some time reflecting on our tea time. I revisited all three parts—the instrumental, my poem, and Chrysalix's song—and heard it clearly: There Are Levels to This S.H.I.T. - Strength, Hope, Intentions, and Tenacity. I realized that I can't be afraid or intimidated by the light of others because I'm carrying light, too. Even though there are boundaries to respect in friendship and business, I must be open to trusting the process. Past friendships have left me with trust issues that have become a pain point. But this experience with Chrys taught me that what's for me is for me, and the people meant to be here this season will stay. Throughout the years, Chrys has shown me that she has not just my back but my heart, too. I can trust her with the vision I'm executing. Stepping into Strength Healing, growth, and unity are layered. Each of us has unique levels to uncover as we move forward. The journey to get our S.H.I.T. together is ongoing, and it's in the trust, collaboration, and courage to create that we will find our way. My new book, Get Your S.H.I.T. Together--
A Journey of Strength, Hope, Intentions, and Tenacity, is a call to action. With the final quarter of 2024 here, it's time to focus strategically. We must get our S.H.I.T. together to step boldly into our dreams for a better tomorrow. It's about owning our struggles and doing the work to heal our bodies and souls! -Dee
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This season of my life holds many unanswered prayers. One prayer that has become a consistent pain point is my deep desire to experience God’s healing—both for me and the people I love. I often envision the miracles from the Bible, praying for signs and wonders just like that. I want to see the same power Jesus demonstrated, the immediate touch of healing that instantly transformed lives. I recently shared my frustration with my spiritual mom, who reminded me that healing is often a process. Unlike the days of Jesus, where healing was sometimes instantaneous to demonstrate His power, today, God teaches us patience and trust through the process. Still, part of me longs to see that demonstration of His power now. I believe that a major reason for these unanswered prayers is God teaching me how to trust Him deeply—no matter what it looks, feels, or sounds like. He wants me to remember that His plans for me are to bless me and give me hope and a future. He is calling me to find comfort not just in the outcome but in His Word and His will. But, honestly, trusting the process is hard. The Weight of Waiting The impact of waiting for healing, answers, and miracles is real. Some days, the weight of it all makes me cry and wonder, When will it be my turn? I know that slow and steady is my process. I’m developing spiritual tools in this season, but it doesn’t make the waiting any easier. The feelings still linger—the frustration, the uncertainty. Yet, I believe God’s timing is perfect, even if I don’t fully understand it. Questioning the Path When life doesn’t go as planned, doubt creeps in. I often find myself questioning whether I’m on the right path. I’ve been wrestling with that question for years. But the fact that I’m still on this path speaks to me—I believe I’m supposed to be here, even if the journey feels long and unclear. In moments of doubt, I pray to God, lean on my sisters, and talk through my emotions. Those conversations are healing, reminding me I’m not alone. Purpose and Fulfillment When I think about what to do with my life, it’s not just about finding purpose but also fulfillment. I want to live a life that’s both fulfilling and aligned with God’s will. I rise, write and inspire, connect with others, and try to share my light—even when life feels dark. I hope my desires align with God’s will so that I can experience the joy of fulfilling both. The Longest Winter Ever This season feels like the longest winter ever. It’s a season of isolation, anxiety, disappointment, pain, unanswered prayers, unexpected health challenges, and an unknown future. It’s a season filled with the pain of waiting on a promise. I cope by venting and then praying, writing and then blogging, creating art, and releasing new work. I read the Word of God more than ever before. I create prescription cards filled with scriptures that remind me of His plans to bless me in due time. His will, His way, His time. Holding on to Hope Although I haven’t reached the other side, I hold on to hope. That hope, that vision of what’s possible, keeps me going. It keeps me growing. It’s the focal point that allows me to keep pressing forward, even when the way seems unclear. A Safe Place to Vent In this season, having a safe place to vent is essential. If we don’t release the pain, it will consume us. The body holds a score, and unprocessed pain can manifest physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I’m grateful for my sisters, prayer partners, and spiritual mother, who provide different perspectives, advice, and, most importantly, space for me to show up as my authentic self. Yesterday, one of my sis-stars did a drive-by visit. I vented, she listened, and we prayed together, touching and agreeing on a whole list:) It’s moments like that which remind me that we need each other. I’m so grateful for those who allow me to be me, even in my winter season. Establishing Deep Roots Deep roots are necessary in your winter season. I’m learning that spending time with God is the refresher my soul needs. Gospel music and the Word of God have become seeds that nourish my peace. Establishing deep roots means venting and then praying, reading, writing, and applying the Word to my life. It means talking to myself daily, testing my thoughts against scripture, and remembering that this winter season will not destroy me—it’s developing the spiritual tools I need for the next season. This winter season may feel long, but I trust it’s not in vain. I’m building deep roots, cultivating spiritual tools, and holding on to the promise that God’s plans for me will come to fruition in His perfect time. ![]() Broken Covenants and Unanswered Prayers Promises made to myself, Promises made by others. Leaving me searching for a rainbow in God's sky. A reminder of his covenant with me. Clouded, weighed down by silence. Storms raging from my eyes Heavy laden by life Burden with unanswered prayers and hidden fears that are being exposed I am praying for my deliverance I am praying for restoration from the years that are raging in my soul Praying for invisible hands to make my brokenness whole Praying that I can take a pause and healing will be my next steps Praying that God's "Not Yet" will be "This is the way, walk in it." (Is 30:21) I'm exhausted Walking around with heartburn and the residue of mistrust Clinging to the edges of my soul Praying on purpose, petitioning the courts of heaven Abba, please don't abandon me I know that this pain was never meant to kill me It's my catalyst for change It is pushing me to walk out of positions and postures that can no longer bear the blame for my lack of movement! -Dee ![]() Comfort can be deceptive. I’ve always slept on my stomach—45 years of the same position. It felt good until it didn’t. Now, that same comfort is causing me pain—tingling up and down my arm and discomfort in my scapula. What was once my source of rest has become a source of harm. And isn’t that how life works? We stay in routines, holding onto what feels good, even when it no longer serves us. It’s easy to get stuck in the automatic—moving through life with no thought or passion. But automatic can become problematic. Comfort can become a chokehold, keeping us from the boundless potential for growth, the clarity of purpose, and the thrill of discovery that lies beyond our comfort zones. Stepping out of that comfort zone, whether it’s a habit, a mindset, or a routine, is a challenging journey. I’ve often found myself yearning for the familiar, even when I know it’s time to move on. But here’s the truth: clarity, power, and purpose await us outside our comfort zones. This means pushing through the resistance, being intentional about prayer and worship, and seeking God’s face. That’s where the answers lie. That’s where real growth happens, under the unwavering support and guidance of a higher power. When pain strikes your comfort zone, it will never be the same again. Don’t let your comfort zone become your chokehold. There’s a world of possibilities waiting for you outside of it, but you’ll only discover them if you’re willing to let go, seek God’s guidance, and trust Him to lead you to the next phase of your life. ![]() Yesterday was one of those days when everything came crashing down. My financial instability, the waiting on God's timing, and the overwhelming flood of emotions just consumed me. I felt like I was treading water in a sea of uncertainty, wondering when my breakthrough would come. Trusting and waiting on God is hard, y'all. It's a process that tests every ounce of your patience and faith, and sometimes the silence feels so loud that you wonder if you're even heard. But even in the midst of my breakdown, God sent me a lifeline—my sis-star LaDonna from Atlanta. She picked up when I needed her most, and we vented, we prayed, and I felt lighter. That connection reminded me that I'm never truly alone in this journey. After that, I did what I always do when I need to reset: I cleaned my house. For me, cleaning is more than just organizing my physical space. It's symbolic—I'm also clearing my mind when I'm organizing my environment. My space might be tight, but I can breathe a little easier when everything is in its place. There's a certain peace in knowing that while I may not have control over everything in my life, I can bring order to something. And sometimes, that's enough. I'm looking forward to my trip to Atlanta this Wednesday. It's more than just a change of scenery; it's a spiritual revival for my soul. I'll attend a women's revival at a church, and I fully believe God will meet me there. I need Him to reignite my light, to give me clarity in my vision, and to infuse my heart with His love and care. I feel like I've been walking through a fog, and I'm praying that this trip is where God parts the clouds and lets His light shine through again. Honestly, I don't know if my journey toward joy has evolved that much. In fact, I feel like I need joy now more than ever. Last week at work was tough—the toxicity of the environment combined with my inner battles was overwhelming. But I've realized that life will keep "life'ing," and I have to find my happy place and take it wherever I go. It's not enough to wait for joy to find me. I need to actively seek it and carry it with me, no matter the circumstances. Right now, I'm searching for my "smurfy essence" I used to have—the lightheartedness, peace, and joy. I hope my time in Atlanta will be the reset I need to reclaim that. And I hope that my journey towards joy, my determination to find it even in the darkest of times, can inspire you to do the same. I'm also ready to release some things on this trip—anger, frustration & fear. I want to let go of the things that have been weighing me down, the emotions that no longer serve me. In their place, I want to embrace the confidence that comes from knowing I am held by a God who sees me, knows me, and has a plan for me. His will and His way are the best prescription for my life, and I'm choosing to trust that. I'm going to Atlanta alone and looking forward to it. My hotel room will be my oasis for three nights—a place where I can be still, reflect, and breathe. I believe this trip is coming at the perfect time because I need to refocus as we enter the last quarter of 2024. I have things to accomplish—like finishing my book, Get Your S.H.I.T. Together: A Journey of Strength, Hope, Intentions, and Tenacity. This is my time to get strategically focused and prepare for what's next. But let me tell you this—healing is hard. It's messy. It requires you to rip off the bandages and really tend to the wounds. It's not for the faint of heart. But as my sister reminded me, you have to find your happy place and go there often. And if you can't physically get there, hold onto the memory of it. Let it anchor you on your hard days. For me, that happy place is a mix of writing, music, and dancing like no one's watching. On those days when I feel like I can't make it, I turn on my music, sing, and let myself get lost in the moment. Above all, I remain hopeful. Even when it's tough, even when I'm waiting, I hold onto my mustard seed of faith and know I'll be okay. The road to joy isn't easy, but I'm walking it with purpose, trusting that God's plan is greater than anything I could imagine. And in that trust, I'm finding my peace. I'd love to hear from you! How do you navigate your overwhelming moments? What's your happy place, and how do you find joy even when life is "life'ing"? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or email me at [email protected] with the subject line "guest blogger" if you'd like to be a guest on my blog. Let's keep this journey going together. -Dee Even though this season of my life has been tumultuous, I feel a sense of God's hope every day. I know that this pain has a purpose. Recognizing that has shifted my mindset because everything God ordains and allows has a greater purpose. This fact has helped me refocus after those inevitable moments of frustration and complaint that come with facing pain points. There's strength in the struggle, and I'm learning to see that more clearly with each passing day. I'm documenting these events and moments for my new book "Get Your S.H.I.T Together - A Journey of Strength, Hope, Intentions, and Tenacity." The small joys I've found—whether in spending time with loved ones, pouring my heart into my writing, creating art, or worshiping—are anchoring me. Each of these has deepened this season, revealing parts of myself I didn't know existed, parts that I had locked away. It's as if, through the challenges, God is unlocking new depths within me, showing me how much stronger I truly am. I've realized one unwavering truth in everything: God got me. His Love, devotion, and strategies are consistent, even when everything else feels chaotic. One of the most profound shifts on my healing journey has been learning the art of loving with boundaries. For too long, I believed that Love meant giving all of myself, no matter the cost. But now, I understand that loving without boundaries leads to depletion, anger, and bitterness—and that is not God's design for my life. He designed us to love others, but we must love ourselves first, setting a standard for what Love should look and feel like. Boundaries aren't walls—they are a necessary foundation for healthy, thriving relationships. I've come to realize that holding on to my peace while still sharing my essence with the world is not only possible but essential. I don't have to give up one to have the other. It's all about balance—trusting God's process, loving with intention, and releasing control when I need to. As my healing journey takes unexpected turns, I've learned that trust is not a separate path—it's woven into every step. And it's here, in the tension between healing and trusting, that I am learning to release control. But releasing control doesn't mean the absence of struggle. Instead, it means embracing the process, knowing that each broken piece is being held by the One who created me.
As you move through your day, consider what it would mean to unplug and allow yourself the space to reconnect with your unique rhythm.
How might a simple act like making tea, walking alone, or sitting with your thoughts bring you closer to peace? This is the journey of trust—not a destination, but a rhythm we cultivate daily as we surrender, heal, and rediscover our inner strength. End your day with this reflection: "In my waiting, I am trusting. In my trusting, I am healing." We are all on this journey together. With Love, Dee |
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