Look Before You Pour!

A T.E.A. Lady's Confession on Discernment, Depletion, and Divine Redirection

People who know me know me as the T.E.A. lady.
And I don't just mean the kind you sip in a cup.
I mean the kind that costs you something—T.E.A.: your Time, Energy, and Attention.
I pour it freely. I always have.
It's how I share my love, serve, and move purposefully.
But recently, God pressed pause on my pouring… and whispered:

"Look before you pour."

We've been taught to look before we cross the street—but no one told us to look before we pour.
I've been pouring into people, places, and projects for a long time.
And only now, in the stillness of my depletion, do I see it clearly:
I was pouring without protection.

Red Flags I Missed While I Was Pouring:

When words didn't line up with actions.
When people made promises and broke them.
When deadlines came and went without any acknowledgment.
When I was left feeling… unsettled, unseen, and silently dismissed.

The Cost of Pouring Blindly:

Now that I feel empty, I realize something sobering:
I'm the only one to blame.
I wasn't being taken advantage of—I was bypassing discernment.

Dear Dee, 
Empty cups can be filled.
Broken cups cannot.
And when you pour into broken vessels, your tea—your time, energy, and attention—seeps out—wasted & misused.

The Heart of the Helper:
I think, for me anyway—I can't speak for anyone else--
I was always looking for someone to help.
It's who I am—a helper by nature.
But this season, I faced a hard truth as I looked at the backs of people who walked away: some people don't want help.

And if you don't assess the condition of the cup, you'll keep pouring into what can't or won't hold you.
That's not love. That's leakage.
Love does not mean emptying yourself for people who refuse to grow.

The Boundaries That Are Saving Me:
I'm living by a new set of boundaries, and these are my truths.
Sometimes, a door has to be locked.
Access has to be limited.
Not to punish people, but to teach them that your tea is valuable.
That you are valuable.

What God Is Restoring:
God is restoring self-love in me.
And honestly, I don't know if I ever truly had it.
I've been pouring out love for so long
that I forgot to give it to myself.
And that is no longer okay.
Not in this season. Not ever again.

Again, my message is to look before you pour because your tea deserves a worthy cup.

-With Love and A Limited T.E.A. Edition:) 
​Dee

Seasons Change,
People Walk Away,
But the Will of God Remains the same in Jesus' Name.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11