 This season of my life holds many unanswered prayers. One prayer that has become a consistent pain point is my deep desire to experience God’s healing—both for me and the people I love. I often envision the miracles from the Bible, praying for signs and wonders just like that. I want to see the same power Jesus demonstrated, the immediate touch of healing that instantly transformed lives. I recently shared my frustration with my spiritual mom, who reminded me that healing is often a process. Unlike the days of Jesus, where healing was sometimes instantaneous to demonstrate His power, today, God teaches us patience and trust through the process. Still, part of me longs to see that demonstration of His power now. I believe that a major reason for these unanswered prayers is God teaching me how to trust Him deeply—no matter what it looks, feels, or sounds like. He wants me to remember that His plans for me are to bless me and give me hope and a future. He is calling me to find comfort not just in the outcome but in His Word and His will. But, honestly, trusting the process is hard. The Weight of Waiting The impact of waiting for healing, answers, and miracles is real. Some days, the weight of it all makes me cry and wonder, When will it be my turn? I know that slow and steady is my process. I’m developing spiritual tools in this season, but it doesn’t make the waiting any easier. The feelings still linger—the frustration, the uncertainty. Yet, I believe God’s timing is perfect, even if I don’t fully understand it. Questioning the Path When life doesn’t go as planned, doubt creeps in. I often find myself questioning whether I’m on the right path. I’ve been wrestling with that question for years. But the fact that I’m still on this path speaks to me—I believe I’m supposed to be here, even if the journey feels long and unclear. In moments of doubt, I pray to God, lean on my sisters, and talk through my emotions. Those conversations are healing, reminding me I’m not alone. Purpose and Fulfillment When I think about what to do with my life, it’s not just about finding purpose but also fulfillment. I want to live a life that’s both fulfilling and aligned with God’s will. I rise, write and inspire, connect with others, and try to share my light—even when life feels dark. I hope my desires align with God’s will so that I can experience the joy of fulfilling both. The Longest Winter Ever This season feels like the longest winter ever. It’s a season of isolation, anxiety, disappointment, pain, unanswered prayers, unexpected health challenges, and an unknown future. It’s a season filled with the pain of waiting on a promise. I cope by venting and then praying, writing and then blogging, creating art, and releasing new work. I read the Word of God more than ever before. I create prescription cards filled with scriptures that remind me of His plans to bless me in due time. His will, His way, His time. Holding on to Hope Although I haven’t reached the other side, I hold on to hope. That hope, that vision of what’s possible, keeps me going. It keeps me growing. It’s the focal point that allows me to keep pressing forward, even when the way seems unclear. A Safe Place to Vent In this season, having a safe place to vent is essential. If we don’t release the pain, it will consume us. The body holds a score, and unprocessed pain can manifest physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I’m grateful for my sisters, prayer partners, and spiritual mother, who provide different perspectives, advice, and, most importantly, space for me to show up as my authentic self. Yesterday, one of my sis-stars did a drive-by visit. I vented, she listened, and we prayed together, touching and agreeing on a whole list:) It’s moments like that which remind me that we need each other. I’m so grateful for those who allow me to be me, even in my winter season. Establishing Deep Roots Deep roots are necessary in your winter season. I’m learning that spending time with God is the refresher my soul needs. Gospel music and the Word of God have become seeds that nourish my peace. Establishing deep roots means venting and then praying, reading, writing, and applying the Word to my life. It means talking to myself daily, testing my thoughts against scripture, and remembering that this winter season will not destroy me—it’s developing the spiritual tools I need for the next season. This winter season may feel long, but I trust it’s not in vain. I’m building deep roots, cultivating spiritual tools, and holding on to the promise that God’s plans for me will come to fruition in His perfect time.  Broken Covenants and Unanswered Prayers
Promises made to myself, Promises made by others. Leaving me searching for a rainbow in God's sky. A reminder of his covenant with me. Clouded, weighed down by silence. Storms raging from my eyes Heavy laden by life Burden with unanswered prayers and hidden fears that are being exposed I am praying for my deliverance I am praying for restoration from the years that are raging in my soul Praying for invisible hands to make my brokenness whole Praying that I can take a pause and healing will be my next steps Praying that God's "Not Yet" will be "This is the way, walk in it." (Is 30:21) I'm exhausted Walking around with heartburn and the residue of mistrust Clinging to the edges of my soul Praying on purpose, petitioning the courts of heaven Abba, please don't abandon me I know that this pain was never meant to kill me It's my catalyst for change It is pushing me to walk out of positions and postures that can no longer bear the blame for my lack of movement! -Dee
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 Comfort can be deceptive. I’ve always slept on my stomach—45 years of the same position. It felt good until it didn’t. Now, that same comfort is causing me pain—tingling up and down my arm and discomfort in my scapula. What was once my source of rest has become a source of harm. And isn’t that how life works? We stay in routines, holding onto what feels good, even when it no longer serves us. It’s easy to get stuck in the automatic—moving through life with no thought or passion. But automatic can become problematic. Comfort can become a chokehold, keeping us from the boundless potential for growth, the clarity of purpose, and the thrill of discovery that lies beyond our comfort zones. Stepping out of that comfort zone, whether it’s a habit, a mindset, or a routine, is a challenging journey. I’ve often found myself yearning for the familiar, even when I know it’s time to move on. But here’s the truth: clarity, power, and purpose await us outside our comfort zones. This means pushing through the resistance, being intentional about prayer and worship, and seeking God’s face. That’s where the answers lie. That’s where real growth happens, under the unwavering support and guidance of a higher power. When pain strikes your comfort zone, it will never be the same again. Don’t let your comfort zone become your chokehold. There’s a world of possibilities waiting for you outside of it, but you’ll only discover them if you’re willing to let go, seek God’s guidance, and trust Him to lead you to the next phase of your life.  |
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