 Yesterday was one of those days when everything came crashing down. My financial instability, the waiting on God's timing, and the overwhelming flood of emotions just consumed me. I felt like I was treading water in a sea of uncertainty, wondering when my breakthrough would come. Trusting and waiting on God is hard, y'all. It's a process that tests every ounce of your patience and faith, and sometimes the silence feels so loud that you wonder if you're even heard. But even in the midst of my breakdown, God sent me a lifeline—my sis-star LaDonna from Atlanta. She picked up when I needed her most, and we vented, we prayed, and I felt lighter. That connection reminded me that I'm never truly alone in this journey. After that, I did what I always do when I need to reset: I cleaned my house. For me, cleaning is more than just organizing my physical space. It's symbolic—I'm also clearing my mind when I'm organizing my environment. My space might be tight, but I can breathe a little easier when everything is in its place. There's a certain peace in knowing that while I may not have control over everything in my life, I can bring order to something. And sometimes, that's enough. I'm looking forward to my trip to Atlanta this Wednesday. It's more than just a change of scenery; it's a spiritual revival for my soul. I'll attend a women's revival at a church, and I fully believe God will meet me there. I need Him to reignite my light, to give me clarity in my vision, and to infuse my heart with His love and care. I feel like I've been walking through a fog, and I'm praying that this trip is where God parts the clouds and lets His light shine through again. Honestly, I don't know if my journey toward joy has evolved that much. In fact, I feel like I need joy now more than ever. Last week at work was tough—the toxicity of the environment combined with my inner battles was overwhelming. But I've realized that life will keep "life'ing," and I have to find my happy place and take it wherever I go. It's not enough to wait for joy to find me. I need to actively seek it and carry it with me, no matter the circumstances. Right now, I'm searching for my "smurfy essence" I used to have—the lightheartedness, peace, and joy. I hope my time in Atlanta will be the reset I need to reclaim that. And I hope that my journey towards joy, my determination to find it even in the darkest of times, can inspire you to do the same. I'm also ready to release some things on this trip—anger, frustration & fear. I want to let go of the things that have been weighing me down, the emotions that no longer serve me. In their place, I want to embrace the confidence that comes from knowing I am held by a God who sees me, knows me, and has a plan for me. His will and His way are the best prescription for my life, and I'm choosing to trust that. I'm going to Atlanta alone and looking forward to it. My hotel room will be my oasis for three nights—a place where I can be still, reflect, and breathe. I believe this trip is coming at the perfect time because I need to refocus as we enter the last quarter of 2024. I have things to accomplish—like finishing my book, Get Your S.H.I.T. Together: A Journey of Strength, Hope, Intentions, and Tenacity. This is my time to get strategically focused and prepare for what's next. But let me tell you this—healing is hard. It's messy. It requires you to rip off the bandages and really tend to the wounds. It's not for the faint of heart. But as my sister reminded me, you have to find your happy place and go there often. And if you can't physically get there, hold onto the memory of it. Let it anchor you on your hard days. For me, that happy place is a mix of writing, music, and dancing like no one's watching. On those days when I feel like I can't make it, I turn on my music, sing, and let myself get lost in the moment. Above all, I remain hopeful. Even when it's tough, even when I'm waiting, I hold onto my mustard seed of faith and know I'll be okay. The road to joy isn't easy, but I'm walking it with purpose, trusting that God's plan is greater than anything I could imagine. And in that trust, I'm finding my peace. I'd love to hear from you! How do you navigate your overwhelming moments? What's your happy place, and how do you find joy even when life is "life'ing"? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or email me at [email protected] with the subject line "guest blogger" if you'd like to be a guest on my blog. Let's keep this journey going together. -Dee 
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 Even though this season of my life has been tumultuous, I feel a sense of God's hope every day. I know that this pain has a purpose. Recognizing that has shifted my mindset because everything God ordains and allows has a greater purpose. This fact has helped me refocus after those inevitable moments of frustration and complaint that come with facing pain points. There's strength in the struggle, and I'm learning to see that more clearly with each passing day. I'm documenting these events and moments for my new book "Get Your S.H.I.T Together - A Journey of Strength, Hope, Intentions, and Tenacity." The small joys I've found—whether in spending time with loved ones, pouring my heart into my writing, creating art, or worshiping—are anchoring me. Each of these has deepened this season, revealing parts of myself I didn't know existed, parts that I had locked away. It's as if, through the challenges, God is unlocking new depths within me, showing me how much stronger I truly am. I've realized one unwavering truth in everything: God got me. His Love, devotion, and strategies are consistent, even when everything else feels chaotic. One of the most profound shifts on my healing journey has been learning the art of loving with boundaries. For too long, I believed that Love meant giving all of myself, no matter the cost. But now, I understand that loving without boundaries leads to depletion, anger, and bitterness—and that is not God's design for my life. He designed us to love others, but we must love ourselves first, setting a standard for what Love should look and feel like. Boundaries aren't walls—they are a necessary foundation for healthy, thriving relationships. I've come to realize that holding on to my peace while still sharing my essence with the world is not only possible but essential. I don't have to give up one to have the other. It's all about balance—trusting God's process, loving with intention, and releasing control when I need to. As my healing journey takes unexpected turns, I've learned that trust is not a separate path—it's woven into every step. And it's here, in the tension between healing and trusting, that I am learning to release control. But releasing control doesn't mean the absence of struggle. Instead, it means embracing the process, knowing that each broken piece is being held by the One who created me.
As you move through your day, consider what it would mean to unplug and allow yourself the space to reconnect with your unique rhythm.
How might a simple act like making tea, walking alone, or sitting with your thoughts bring you closer to peace? This is the journey of trust—not a destination, but a rhythm we cultivate daily as we surrender, heal, and rediscover our inner strength. End your day with this reflection: "In my waiting, I am trusting. In my trusting, I am healing." We are all on this journey together. With Love, Dee  🔥The younger Dee was always getting into something—trouble found me quickly. I was daring, constantly pushing boundaries, doing things I shouldn't have done, and always wanting more. That hunger for more followed me into my teenage years, and it manifested in ways that could've gotten me locked up, but God had other plans for my life. As a kid, I don't remember tapping into a creative side. It wasn't until middle school, when I started writing poetry that I found a space to hold all the emotions that felt too heavy to bear. Writing gave me an outlet and a way to express myself, but I was always searching for love, craving it deeply. I gave myself away freely at a young age, trying to fill that void. Then, at 16, I met Q. He wasn't my usual type, but something about him was different. Looking back, I know God brought him into my life for a reason. Q was the first guy to pay attention to me and make me feel seen. His voice—he could sing—only added to his appeal. I fell for him hard, but the truth is, I wasn't in love with myself. When I became pregnant in my senior year of high school, I knew everything would change. Many people thought my life was over, but that only fueled my fire. Instead of giving up, I focused on becoming the woman my son needed me to be. My son and Q became my entire world, and I started weaving a bond with them that I believed nothing could break. 💍At 20, I married Q. After an intense moment of clarity, I realized the depth of my love and commitment, and I heightened my degree of service to the people in my life, especially my family. I took on the roles of wife and mother with full force. Somewhere along the way, I started to isolate "Dee" so that the wife and mother in me could fully take root. I became "homemade"; I was the chef, the maid, and the nurturer—everything I thought my family needed to build a strong foundation. I loved the woman I was becoming, or at least I convinced myself that I did. 📚In 2004, I became a teacher. My first assignment was an 8th-grade class, and that experience reignited my love for writing. The Writer's Notebook became my way into my students' lives, and through it, I also reconnected with myself. Writing with them reminded me of the girl who found comfort in words, and it gave me the chance to learn more about them and, in turn, more about myself. Looking back at all my roles—mother, wife, teacher—I have mixed feelings. Part of me feels like I grew up too quickly and missed out on being a carefree teenager. But another part of me knows that all these layers and roles created the passionate, driven woman I am today. Still, I think we all deserve a break from our roles. We need time to exist without the weight of expectations. Now, at 45, I find myself weary. My soul is exhausted. I've spent years pouring into others, but now it's time to replenish my own cup. Along the way, I lost touch with 'Dee.' The woman who once submerged herself in mother, wife, and teacher roles is ready to rediscover her true identity. It's a reminder that we all need to step back from our roles and invest in our own well-being and self-discovery. That same hunger for more, the desire that drove my younger self, has resurfaced. It's calling me again, but I'm seeking God's guidance this time. I trust that He has a plan for me, and I'm peeling back the layers of my life, asking the question I've long ignored: Who am I without these titles? It's a journey of self-discovery and spiritual awakening guided by the hand of God. My life has been an intricate path woven with light and shadows. Navigating this journey has been challenging, but there is a profound truth that I have discovered in God's Word and His unwavering love. He is my beacon of hope, my steadfast illuminator. He is my strength when I want to give up, the lamp that casts His light onto my feet. He is my sacred scripture, cautioning me when life gets slippery. Through the precipice of my pride, His voice echoes —a gentle yet insistent call for me to come back and be realigned with His will. This spiritual connection has been a guiding force in my journey of self-discovery and reconnection. I have been a creature of distraction, often engrossed in my routine and desire for growth. Yet, there is a silent knowing that there is more to my life, and I am confident that I cannot do it without Him. I don't know where this journey will take me, but I trust God will reveal it in His time. I'm letting go of the weight of expectations, of the things that no longer serve me, and I'm embracing this journey of rediscovery with an open heart. It's time to reset and return to the woman God designed to be. There's a version of me that I'm ready to meet—and I'm excited to find her. -Dee  In my journey to find joy and get my S.H.I.T. together—Strength, Hope, Intentions, and Tenacity—I've realized that while I've made significant strides, a deep sadness still hovers over my soul. It's a heaviness that I can no longer ignore, and recently, a profound truth hit me: I've been carrying the weight of so many roles for so long that I've forgotten who I truly am. I became a mom at 18, a wife at 20, and a teacher at 24. Over the last two decades, I've continued to collect roles, each adding layers to my identity. But now, at 45, my soul (mind, emotions & will) is exhausted. It's as if I've been running on autopilot, fulfilling the expectations of each role without pausing to consider the toll it's taken on my spirit. In the quiet moments of reflection, I decided to speak to God about it, and He revealed something profound: I need a reset. It's a reset to the 'back to creator's setting', a state of being that is in alignment with the original purpose of my creation. But what does that even mean? It means I have to go back to the beginning, before the roles, the titles, and the assignments of this world were assimilated into my D.N.A. Who was I before all of this? Who am I now, stripped of the roles I've grown accustomed to? I realized I had to pray because the truth is, I don't know anymore. My identity is intertwined with my roles, and I've lost sight of the core of who I am. So, I decided to empty the contents of my life on the altar before God, sorting through and discarding what no longer supports me. It's time to let go of the things holding me back because the next level God has for me is higher than the one before me now, and I can't climb with the weight of the past on my back. Letting go is challenging. There are regrets about things I think I'm lacking and doubts about whether I've done enough or been enough. But I know deep down that God has my back. He's prepared a better way for me--a path lit with His light, fortified with His will, and empowered by the Holy Spirit. His unwavering support is my anchor in this journey of renewal. My task now is to learn about myself anew. Who am I in this season? And who was I created to be? As I seek the will of the Father, I realize that I must also be confident in who I am so that I will not be intimidated by the trials and tests that life will inevitably bring. I need to ensure my S.H.I.T. is in order--Strength to carry on, Hope to keep me grounded, Intentions aligned with His purpose, and Tenacity to see it through. This journey is about rediscovery, renewal, and realignment with the purpose God has for me. It's about embracing the joy that comes not from my roles but from the identity He's given me. I'm choosing to focus on my joy points, to release the pain points, and to live intentionally because tomorrow is not promised, and I must be purposeful about living each day to the fullest. If you're reading this and feeling the weight of your own roles and responsibilities, I invite you to join me on this journey. It's OK to reset. It's OK to question and to seek. And it's OK to let go of what no longer serves you. Together, we can find our way back to our true selves, the ones God created us to be. Let's continue to find our joy, get our S.H.I.T. together, and walk confidently into the next season of our lives, knowing that God's got us every step of the way. Have You Seen My Joy? It's still here, even amid the storm, because I'm choosing to reset, realign, and live with intention. And I know that with God's help, I'll find it more fully than ever before. Would you like to share your own journey of finding joy? I'd love to hear from you. Send me your story at [email protected] with the subject line' guest blogger,' and let's continue to inspire each other on this path of discovery and renewal.  |
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