Hi. I’m Perimenopause. But you can call me Peri.
Yes, me. The one your wife blames for the tension in your house.

I figured it’s time we talk.
Hormonal storm to man.
Because you’re not crazy.
And your wife is not losing her mind.
I’m rearranging things behind the scenes.

Before you take another mood swing personally, before you assume she’s “changed,”
before you wonder where the woman you married went…
Let me explain what I’m doing to her body.

First, understand this: I am not menopause. I’m the 10+ year transition before it.
Her hormones don’t gently decline.
They spike, crash, surge, disappear, and reappear with no schedule.

One day, she’s fine.
The next day, she’s overwhelmed by things that never bothered her before.
That’s not personality. That’s biology.
Research shows that when partners learn what perimenopause actually does,
marital satisfaction improves because symptoms stop being misread as character flaws.

What I’m doing to her (that you can’t see)

• Waking her up at 3 AM for no reason
• Making her exhausted but unable to nap
• Fogging her memory mid-sentence
• Tightening her chest and speeding her heart
• Turning small stress into big overwhelm
• Drying her skin, joints, and patience
• Rewiring her libido without asking permission
• Making her feel like she’s not herself

She doesn’t recognize herself some days.
Imagine how that feels inside her.

Surveys show many men notice poor sleep and low energy but don’t connect them to perimenopause,
which leads to misunderstandings at home.

The biggest mistake husbands make
You think this is about you. It’s not.
When she’s distant, irritable, forgetful, or not interested in sex, your brain says:
“She’s pulling away.”
“She’s unhappy with me.”
“She’s changed.”

No. I changed the chemistry she’s operating with.

Partner guides from menopause clinicians emphasize this exact point:
don’t personalize symptoms that are hormonal.

What helps more than you realize
You don’t need to fix this.
You need to understand it.

Here’s what actually helps her nervous system settle:

• Patience when she repeats herself
• Calm when she’s overwhelmed
• Water when she’s overheating
• A hug when she’s weepy
• Not taking the bait when she’s irritable
• Asking, “What do you need right now?” instead of defending yourself
• Learning about this so she doesn’t feel alone in it

Education for husbands has been shown to improve relationship quality during this phase.

About intimacy
This one is hard to talk about.
I often lower her libido, cause dryness, and make touch feel different.
If you respond with pressure, she feels broken.
If you respond with patience, she feels safe.
Safety is what brings closeness back online.

The secret she may not know how to say
She’s scared.
Not of you.
Of feeling like she’s disappearing.

When you stay steady, you become the proof that she’s still loved,
still wanted, still seen — even when she doesn’t feel like herself.

Your role in this season
You are not fighting your wife.
You are fighting me.

And you win by:

• learning,
• staying gentle,
• and remembering this is a phase her body must pass through to reach hormonal stability again.

Couples who treat perimenopause as a team experience do better than those who treat it as a personality conflict.

Your wife is not trying to be difficult.
She is trying to survive something invisible.
Don’t lose your mind.
And don’t lose your wife.
Learn what I’m doing so you can love her through it. 🌿

You've come to this place.
You've been here before, but only in your dreams. This is the place where you admit, out loud, that your current and past performance just isn't cutting it anymore. It's the place where you start to see yourself cutting ties with everyone and everything that no longer serves your life's mission. You're in a purging season, and this time, you wake up and realize:
This can't be a dream anymore.
You have to tap in.
You have to activate the energy required to create real change. 

So how do you make that change?
You need energy,
You need passion,
You need the wisdom of God to guide you through both necessary endings and new beginnings.
Many are the plans in a person's heart, but the will of God will always stand, no matter how life flows.
That's why spiritual alignment is the first step to lasting change.

Change requires your consistency.
You are the change agent.
You are the driver behind the wheel.
Your attitude, thoughts, words, and actions must align.
Because if they don't add up, they won't produce the outcome you're praying for.
Change can't be a part-time job. You must be committed, full-time, to developing the mindset and skill set necessary to change the game called your life. You have to own your ability to change and push it forward with intention.

Take inventory and check your mindsets and habits.
What needs to be eliminated?
What needs to be upgraded?
What needs a full-on, no-going-back, level-up?

Check in on your energy source.
No one can give you the energy needed to execute your plan.
You need to align with your power source.
God is mine. He has a way of resetting my internal lens so I can see the path clearly when life gets cloudy.

Surround yourself with a cultivated circle, people whose performance and track record are worth studying.
And don't copy—study.

Everyone's assignment is different. But sometimes, we need a living reminder of what's possible.

If your energy has flatlined, it's time for an infusion.
The move forward must be well thought out and strategically focused, and balance is the key.

Get your daily dose of energy.
Create a "vitamin pack" that sustains your vision and propels you into the next level.
If you're putting in the work, you shouldn't be in the same place by the end of the day.
Even small steps are still progress.
Structure your time and energy.
There must be deposits, not just withdrawals.
Remember balance is key. And don't be afraid to add variety. It really is the spice of life.

Let's try something together. 
Inspired by Bill Hybels’ Six-by-Six framework, starting August 1st, 2025:

1. Identify six things you must speak energy into.
These can be projects, tasks, or personal initiatives.

2. Write each one on an index card.

3. For the next 6 weeks, speak energy into these six things.

Create a structure to determine the amount of energy each one requires.
Make this your Energy Infusion Chart.
Structure + Energy = Change
But before you begin—be real.

Be honest about where you are and where you need improvement.
Get the new knowledge you need from your source.
Tap into the energy required.
Do the soul work that will bring forth the change you've been craving.

Let this be your shift.
Let this be your season of action.
Let this be your energy for change.

Part 2 coming soon...

With Love,
Dee
​

The vision is clear, the calling is loud, and the time is now.
On August 8th, we’re not just hosting an event, we’re planting something sacred.

Join us for the soft launch of H.O.P.E. — Helping Overlooked People Evolve,
a night of art, poetry, and purpose.

This isn’t just a program, it’s a movement rooted in healing, truth, and transformation.

H.O.P.E. is more than a feelings; it's our foundation!

Thursday, August 8, 2025
 6:00 PM – 8:30 PM
 861 Gerard Ave, Bronx, NY
 Tickets: https://bit.ly/4077Sor

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